Pathways
by Willowstar23
Summary: Every choice we make affects the world around us. Every decision creates a new set of pathways that we can choose to walk down. The future is just one massive branch of options. Is it fair to say then, that if Peeta hadn't seen Katniss on that fateful day with the bread, that Katniss' life would have taken a different turn and a new path would have appeared. Non-canon.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Suzanne collins owns the hunger games and all recognisable content in this fic. The rest of the ideas are mine.**

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The first time I saw her she was fourteen. I'd just come from my home district of two earlier in the month where I'd trained to be a peacekeeper and by some stroke of luck I had been sent to the most unwanted district in all of Panem. At the time, I had yet to decide whether that was good luck or bad luck, when I met Katniss Everdeen.

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I didn't notice her come in to the Hob, in fact I didn't even know she was there until I saw Sae concentrate on something behind me and subtly nod her head. Curiously turning around I was met by the sight of a young girl.

It wasn't her appearance that first caught my attention, or how young she appeared, or even how she clutched the handle of an old worn leather bag so tightly I could see her knuckles turning white. It was wariness in her sharp steel eyes and how I felt she was judging my worth with a single look.

The timid creature hesitantly stepped forward towards the table obviously wary of my peacekeeper status and the fact that I was a new face in the unusually small district. Sae nodded in encouragement and continued to go about her business as normal. Shuffling as far away from away from me as she could, yet still be at Sae's table, she put the bag on the work top.

"What you got today for me girly, 'couple o' fat rabbits?"

I raised my eyebrows thinking sae was joking when she opened her bag, still eyeing me cautiously and pulled out three brownish grey rabbits complete with fluffy white tails. If I wasn't surprised at the turn of events before, I was now. My jaw dropped and I looked at them with wide eyes. Poaching is punishable by death. That's the only way I can think of that she got them as I haven't seen any rabbits on my explorations of the district and I doubt anyone here could afford them as pets.

What's more shocking is that she is doing this in full view of the whole Hob and a couple of other peacekeepers.

"Ooh, they'll go down a treat" she says while inspecting them " 10 coins."

"12" Katniss counters.

Sae raises her eyebrows.

" there's a lot of fat on them it'll make the tastier."

Sae still doesn't move.

" I'll throw in a squirrel as well."

"Done" Sae agrees and Katniss produces a sleek grey squirrel from her bag of wonders.

As Sae's counting out the change, I see another peacekeeper coming over, but neither Katniss nor Sae seem worried.

"Yum juicy rabbits haven't had those in a while." The other peacekeeper says licking her lips. I think I heard someone call her Purina.

"Yeah springs a bit late this year, only just started."

Purina turns to me and whispers dramatically "Katniss has the best shot in the whole district, if a wild animal came running at me I'd just let Katniss deal with it. she could kill it ten times faster with her bow than I could with my gun." And then she winks at Katniss who's heard the whole thing. She turns her head self-consciously but not before I've seen the pink tinge to her dark skin.

It's only then that I notice how the animals have been killed. A small silt in the middle of each animals eye tells me that it was impaled on something sharp, most likely an arrow from the bow Purina mentioned. She must be a _very_ good shot.

After she leaves, game bag lighter but twelve coins richer, I notice the tension I had not noticed this past month disappear and I realise I've passed some sort of secret test.

Sae eyes me knowingly, knowing I've figured it out, and then I feel stupid. Of course these people wouldn't trust me straight away with all their illegal secrets. Then I notice the pattern. Each time I'd seen a law broken the act was more and more illegal than the last, probably to test if I'd run and report it. And now I knew their biggest secret and hadn't reported it, so I had passed their initiation.

It warmed my heart a bit to know that these people trust me with their lives, even though by all rights they should fear my very presence. It's my job to arrest people who wrong the Capitol. Now I understand my district twelve introductory speech, when they said that district twelve wasn't like any other district and to forget most of what I'd learnt in training. District twelve has its own rules.

"Katniss comes in every week sometimes twice but always every Sunday."

"Why haven't I seen her before now? I've been here a month."

" you Know why boy. People around here care about that girl boy. Don't want to see 'er hurt."

I think maybe that 'stroke of luck' just might of been good after all. What do you know, I might actually like it here.


	2. Chapter 2

Life in district twelve was interesting. After the Katniss incident I grew used to the casual disregard of rules that the people in twelve had, and my life fell into a pattern.

I would usually wander around the streets in the morning, occasionally buy some warm soft white bread and then head to the hob for lunch where I would lean against Sae's stall and make casual conversation with the people passing by, before going to complete my afternoon duties. It was an alright life, much easier and much less work than I thought it was going to be.

Though my life was going well, I became painfully aware that while _I_ always had a warm bed and plenty of food to eat, most people _didn't_. It wasn't uncommon to see children or even adults walking around with threadbare clothes hanging off of their skinny frames. In fact, with most of the people in the seam you could quite easily count their ribs even through their clothes. I was lucky in that regard, that while what I'd had growing up wasn't the rich caviar or even the rich beef that some of the kids in my school had had, I'd at least had _something_ to eat. That unfortunately didn't seem to be the case here.

The poverty of the district I suppose was something you got used to. As was the quiet apparently, as there wasn't a single car in the Whole district. Coming from district two, district twelve was a shock to the system

Most of the people in the Hob were from the seam. They were the people that the black market was created for. It was rare you would catch merchants in the hob, as they could usually afford to pay for what they needed at the shops in the town, but the odd one did come in for something you couldn't get there, or something you didn't want the whole district finding out about.

There was an unspoken don't ask don't tell policy in the hob, and gossipers were dealt with harshly.

In my first few months I didn't see Katniss all that much, but I was glad that when I did see her she was a lot more comfortable with me.

"You know I bet a couple of those rabbits are worth only one of my kisses." I say and she freezes up, startled.

Sae snorts and as Katniss relaxes she raises her eyebrows at me not sure what to do. I smirk and wink letting her know I didn't really mean it and after the first few times she replies with an equally witty comment of her own, although the first time this happens I'm thrown and left scrambling for a remark just as worthy, but in the end I just tip my head towards her, indicating that she won that round.

It becomes a thing between us, she comes and trades with Sae, I flirt, she rebuffs me and then she goes home. I'm not sure when it turns into something more, when she changes from just a person in the hob that amuses me to someone I care about.

Its a somewhat tentative friendship, if you can even call it that. In truth it's more like an acquaintanceship, but I'll take what I can get. I never realised how lonely this job would be, how I would crave normal human contact, just a normal conversation really that didn't involve me taking orders or giving them. It's probably why I look forward to seeing her every Sunday, why I find myself visiting the hob religiously, because any bit of happiness in this tired and overworked district is something to treasure.

It's because of this religious pilgrimage to the hob every Sunday, that I notice one week when she doesn't come.

"Wonder where Katniss is today?" I say looking around the hob for her.

Sae doesn't seem bothered as she replies "maybe hasn't caught anythin' today or hasn't been. That Hawthorne woman has been lookin' like she was 'bout to pop for a while, maybe she finally has."

I raise my eyebrows at her questioningly, wondering what the pregnant wife of the only other hunter in the district had to do with Katniss.

Sae sees my expression and chuckles,"she's probably helping out."

I gesture for her to continue but she just shakes her head and goes back to stirring the stew. "Fifth one that one, got kids comin' out their ears."

I can tell that I'm not going to get anymore out of her today but it gets me thinking about how much I actually know about Katniss. Sure, I know that she spends Sunday morning hunting illegally and comes into the hob and then town shortly afterwards, but I've never thought of what she did outside if that.

I mean, I know she has at least one parent because she's not in the group home and that she goes to school during weekdays because it's mandatory in all districts up to the age of 18. But other than that, I haven't really thought about it. I guess to me she's always just been the girl that hunts and I've never really thought she did anything else, until now that is.

It's stupid I realise, to think she didn't have a life outside of hunting. Maybe next time when she comes in I'll ask her. Although if there's one thing I do know about Katniss, is that she's a very secretive person, so finding out more about her might be harder than it sounds.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own the hunger games Suzanne Collins does.**

**AN. Chapter 2 has been updated recently.**

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As it turns out Katniss did help with the birth of the fifth Hawthorne child, but I didn't get that from Katniss.

John Hawthorne came in to the hob the next day, proudly announcing the birth of his son Sam.

"Three letter name" he says "decided to shake it up a bit."

"How's the mrs.?" one of the old miners asks.

"Fine as always, won't take long for her to get back to her nagging" he jokes. "Those Everdeen girls patched her up good again. I don't know what we'd do with out 'em."

This pikes my interest. "You know the Everdeen's?" I blurt out unable to stop myself.

He turns to me in surprise "yeah, everyone knows the Everdeen's. Two of the nicest people in the seem. Anyone ever need fixing up, they go there. Doesn't matter if you can't pay in money or straight away either, they'll take care of you still."

"Oh", I say dumbly unable to think of a suitable reply. But inside my mind is wondering about the implications of that sentence. She lives with her mother, that's obvious. Most likely it's just the two of them if I'm reading between the lines correctly. Father out of the picture, deadbeat dad like mine or deceased I don't know. No siblings.

As it turns out Hawthorne's information on the Everdeen's becomes useful when I receive a deep gash on my palm a few weeks later. I haven't seen Katniss in a while. The last time I saw her was the week before she helped deliver the Hawthorne baby. My duties were changed to help accommodate and prepare for the upcoming harvest festival.

It's a strange concept a harvest festival. We don't have anything like it in 2 and I have to have it explained to me. Apparently there's a feast and it's the last chance for many family's to eat well before the harsh and unforgiving winter. It's a good idea I think, lots of families need it.

There's some dancing and lots of stalls where you can buy something called 'hot mulled wine' or a slice of warm sweet apple pie. It'll be a chance for people to let their hair down and just enjoy the moment, not thinking about the worries of yesterday or tomorrow. It'll be fun I think, even if I can't join in it will be nice to see the usually dreary district so lively.

As well as the food and dancing and music, the mayor makes a speech on stage. Coincidentally that was what I was building, when I accidentally slashed my hand.

I make my way over to the seam before backtracking to the hob. I don't actually know where Katniss and her mother live, so I'll have to ask Sae for directions. She's amused at my injury and laughs when I wince as she unwraps the spare bit of cloth I put around it to help staunch the heavy flow of blood.

"You'll need a few stitches in that boy," she says as she inspects it.

I roll my eyes. "As if I didn't already know" I retort.

She raises an eyebrow at my cheek, but thankfully gives me the directions anyway.

I walk slowly through the Seam as I feel kind of dizzy. I know it's from the blood loss, but it doesn't make me feel better or any less vulnerable. I can feel people staring at me as I'm walking by. They're suspicious at why I would be down this end of twelve and quickly scurry away as if I'll catch them doing something they shouldn't be.

Even though people in the hob know I won't turn them in, most of the district is still wary and they keep a safe distance. That's something I don't think will ever change. It's ingrained in to their very being to be afraid of the Capitol and it's enforcers and with some of the things I've heard that have happened in other districts I think that it's a wise idea. I used to be like them once, so I know how they feel.

When I finally make it to the Everdeen house I briefly study the outside before knocking on the door. The house itself could do with some repairs, although most houses in the Seam could do with some work. There's a post missing from the railing on the porch and a few roof tiles are loose. The stairs creek and I can tell the house was once painted but time and weather have worn most of the paint away. Besides that though, the house seems welcoming, as there's a few wildflowers in a glass on the windowsill and the wonderful smell of stew is coming from the gap under the door.

A woman who looks to be mid thirties answers the door. At first I think I'm at the wrong house. Her blue eyes are tired but friendly and her hair which is the colour of wheat hangs in a loose braid over her shoulder. She looks like a townie.

"Can I help you?" she asks.

"Er.. I'm looking for the Everdeen's" I mumble sheepishly and hold up my hand in explanation.

"Oh, well you're at the right house. Want to come in and we'll take a look at it?" She opens the door wider and invites me inside.

She guides me to the table and I sit down on one of the simple wooden chairs. As she bustles about getting everything she needs to sow up my hand, I take notice of my surroundings.

Everything is simple, and basic although I can see a few homely touches like the pile of books on the side and the boots by the door.

It's easy to see why most people come to the Everdeen's to get fixed up. Mrs. Everdeen has a soothing presence and works quickly but efficiently to fix my hand. She doesn't ask questions and appreciate it because I can tell she's curious about what happened, but can obviously sense my embarrassment over it.

About halfway through stitching my hand the door bangs open and Katniss walks through. Her game bag is heavy so I can tell she's been out in the woods. When she sees me she freezes.

"Darius?" She says incredulously.

"Hey Katniss" I reply.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for you wonderful company of course " I tease but then gesture towards her mother with my uninjured hand.

She walks over curiously and then smirks. "How'd you get that?"

"Oh you know, the usual, fending off the hoards of women that just go crazy for the hair. A few got a bit vicious."

She rolls her eyes but I see her lips twitch. "Why didn't you go to the apothecary in town?"

"A reliable source told me that this was the best place in the whole district. Don't want the idiots at the apothecary ruining my hand, got to keep looking my best for the ladies."

She snorts and shakes her head. "Hmpf."

"You're done" mrs Everdeen says tying off the bandage she wrapped my hand in. "You need to change the bandages everyday and come back in a week to have the stitches taken out. If it gets infected come straight here, don't wait."

"Alrighty then. Thanks mrs Everdeen. See you later Katniss."

She waves distractedly from where she's cutting up the rabbit she recently caught. As I get out go my chair I place a pile of coins on the table as payment. Mrs Everdeen's eyes widen at the amount but I wave her off.

"A job well done" I say, and she nods her head in acceptance.

She quickly scoops them off the table and puts them in a jar on the side before Katniss can see. I paid a lot more than than the job was worth, but I felt guilty when I saw the mostly empty cupboards when mrs Everdeen was looking for medical supplies. I know that if Katniss knew I'd paid more, she would kick off about not wanting to accept charity, she has too much pride to accept pity money. I'm glad mrs Everdeen doesn't have the same problem and sees the gesture for what it really is, just an act of kindness, I don't want anything in return.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN. Thanks for the amazing reviews guys they were much appreciated.**

**Suzanne Collins owns the Hunger Games.**

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Over the next month I have a variety of firsts both good and bad. Fortunately I didn't get my first infection, but unfortunately that meant I didn't see Katniss until the Sunday after the harvest festival. Which, I didn't _actually_ get to go to, on duty _or_ off duty, because after injuring my hand I was put on a different rotation that had me doing paperwork for most of the week. Luckily I write with the hand that I didn't injure, otherwise I doubt I would have got much done.

You would have thought that with a head peacekeeper like cray, who lets many illegal acts like poaching go unpunished, he would be more laid back with things like paperwork. You would be wrong. It seems appearances can be deceiving and behind the scenes he likes to run a tight ship. Which makes sense when you hear his reasoning that if it appears that district 12 is running perfectly and efficiently on its own, then no one will want to interfere or look to closely and the district will be left alone and forgotten. I can't really fault him on that because it seems to work. In other districts there are always visitors to check that the peacekeepers are doing their jobs and that the law is being upheld. There haven't been any for years here in twelve.

There's always next year for the festival I suppose, that's if I'm still here. I might have been reallocated by then. I hope not though because I like it here, besides where would I get stew as good as Sae's?

After the festival things quickly went back to normal, all the festivities forgotten as the harshness of winter began to set in. I was witness to the first snow in twelve, which I was surprised at with how hot it was in winter. I liked the snow, it reminded me of home in two when you could see the snow on the Nut and the mountains separating us from the capitol. The first flurries of light snow though quickly turned in to snow storms which was another first.

Back in two despite the fact the mountains would get snow with it being so cold so high up, most of two didn't get all that much. A couple of centimetres was about the limit, so snow storms that brought 6ft snow drifts were a slight shock. I'd had to dig myself out of my home more than a few mornings which was unpleasant as the snow had started to melt in the morning sun and soaked into my boots making my socks soggy and my feet wet.

The snow was nice at first, but now it was just annoying. The snow had blanketed the grey district in a covering of pristine white but had then to grey muddy slush that ended up being ten times worse than ice as it was slippy, something that Katniss and Sae had come to tease me endlessly about.

"You know you're like a newborn fawn with how unsteady you are on your feet."

"Did you see him fall outside of the hob yesterday just as he leaving? Landed right on his arse!" Sae cackled.

"Yeah, yeah laugh it up" I grumbled focusing on my stew.

"Don't worry we are," Katniss replied wryly. "We know it's only because you think the floor looks lonely that you're deciding to give it hugs." She cracks up.

I grit my teeth. "well if you two ladies will excuse me some of us have _actual_ work to do."

Katniss snorts. "Whatever you say Darius. Don't slip on your way out, oh wait you already have done!" They burst out laughing again. I sigh. It's not my fault the snow has a not-so-secret vendetta against me and takes every opportunity to trip me up.

As you can guess I happen to have a habit of slipping on slushy snow and falling flat on my face. This meant I consequently experienced the first of many public humiliations, something that endlessly amuses the whole district and my fellow peacekeepers.

I have my first snowball fight with Purina on my way home after work. She surprises me by throwing a ball of the recently fallen snow that hadn't turned to slush at the back of my head. It then it turned into a competition to see who could throw the most snow balls at the other. Being more experienced she won of course but I got payback the next day by shoving a load of snow down the back of her uniform and making her squeal.

One of the bad firsts I have is seeing how the snow affects the people that I know from the hob, particularly Katniss. I notice when her shirt rides up as she reaches over the counter to grab something from sae that she's notably skinnier. I wonder how I didn't notice that she was slowly starving but she's always mostly covered up with that huge leather jacket of hers and a few thin baggy jumpers.

"you know it's not fair that Cray, Sae and the baker get all of your rabbits and squirrels."

"What?" she turns to me confused.

"Well _I_ wouldn't mind fresh rabbit or squirrel every week you know, at first I thought I was favouritism but then I remembered that was silly because of course I'm you're favourite person." I sniff pretending to be hurt at the idea.

She rolls her eyes at my theatrics. "So what about it Katniss, got a few rabbits for little old me?"

"Pay you double" I add "you'd have to skin then for me though, wouldn't want to get my hands dirty," and I mock shudder at the thought.

She snorts "for the ladies right?" She mocks, although her eyes bore in to me, trying to judge whether I'm serious or not. I'm almost worried that she'll decline seeing it as charity or even ask me what's wrong with the butcher but she doesn't.

Eventually she nods slightly and I walk out of the hob the next day with a couple of skinned rabbits. I should of really asked what to do with them afterwards because I don't know whats edible and what's not. To me they just look like skinless rabbits. That is essentially what they are, but I don't know what parts of a rabbit you eat.

I return to the hob later when I'm sure most people are home and give the rabbits to Sae. She raises her eyebrows and I shuffle embarrassedly. She knows what I'm doing, paying almost double what she pays means that Katniss came to me with the rabbits instead of her, but she knows I have a soft spot for Katniss as most people do.

Sae allows me to give Katniss more money for the rabbits so she doesn't starve as much and I come back later and sell her the rabbits cheaply to keep her silence on the matter. Not that I think that she would tell Katniss, because she knows that this is the only way to give Katniss the help she needs without insulting her pride, but because I hate to think what she would put in the stew without the meat Katniss gives her.

I feel bad lying to Katniss although I'm not really lying because she doesn't ask what I'm doing with the rabbits she shoots and skins but as the days go by I see that the lines on her face soften as she puts more weight on and her cheeks fill out. She seems happier recently and I can only put it down to the fact she doesn't have to worry about money so much anymore and a small smile makes its way on to my face knowing that I helped with that.

While I'm thinking about the changes in Katniss a siren rings out. The high pitched sound makes me jump in surprise and splash milk all over the table and my uniform. Annoyed I turn to the TV expecting it to have come on with an emergency broardcast or a mandatory one that I'd just forgotten about, but the TV stays off, the blank black screen staring back at me.

Suddenly there's a pounding at my door that I can barely hear over the shrill wailing of the alarm. Making my way to the door I'm shocked when I open it to see one of the older peacekeepers looking frantic and out of breath.

"What's that noise?" I ask covering my ears with my hands.

"The mines!"he shouts "the mines!"

I'm about to experience my first mine collapse.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: suzanne Collins owns the hunger games.**

**warning this chapter is a bit gruesome.**

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For a moment I'm not sure what to do. When I arrived in twelve I had a brief introductory speech and there were a few words said about what to do in the event of a mine collapse but I can't remember any of them now.

Quickly I grab my helmet from the counter in the kitchen and race off in the direction of the mines. If in doubt, go to the source of panic.

When I reach the end of my street I can already see the smoke and the dust from the mines and I know that this is a really bad collapse. There are people running with me towards them, as they try to help with buckets to help move the stones so that the miners can get through the blocked tunnels and out above ground.

The looks on their faces say that they've done this many many times before. When I reach the edge of the Seam it's almost deserted except for a few children huddled on a porch, settling down for a long wait for news.

People from the seam are closer to the mines and would have run the fastest towards them. The men in those mines are their families and their livelihoods. Fathers, brothers, sons, uncles, cousins they all work in the mines to bring home the bread. Not all of them will come home.

The air is thicker here, filled with smoke and dust and powdered coal and it hangs in the air like a shroud. It makes me cough as the heat and the thickness of it rush down my throat into my aching lungs. It burns. If it's this bad here I feel there's little hope for the men trapped below the ground. Some will already be sealed in their tombs.

Up ahead I can see a mass of people, worry in their eyes but fierce determination etched on to their faces. Most of these people are women from the seam so they will all most likely have someone down there. I think about mr Hawthorne. Is he down there? Did he make it up to the surface? ... Is he _dead_?

There's a line off to the side where rubble is passed from the entrance of the mines to a place out of the way where it's dumped. I see mrs Everdeen to my left, she's treating some of the miners that managed to get out in time for minor cuts and bruises. They're the lucky ones and by the looks on their faces they know it.

The man she finishes treating gets up and goes to join the rest of the people that are helping to clear the rubble and I make my way over.

"What I can I do?"

She looks at me. "Nothing at the moment, won't be until they get the rubble cleared that I can really do anything. The quicker they can get them out the more chance there is that they'll live. You can help out over there first and come back to me when they start bringing the men out."

As I start to walk away she shouts "mind the rocks, some of them can be hot." I nod my head in thanks and carry on walking.

It isn't until two days later that most of the rubble is finally cleared and the first men start making their way out. The stench is almost unbearable. The smell of burnt flesh and infected wounds, some that are already weeping puss, turns my stomach. All around me I can hear wails of happiness and sorrow as the men bring their fallen comrades out with them. Tears of relief and grief mingle until it's all just one mass of crying people and I can't take it. I go to search for mrs Everdeen.

I find her with Katniss, who didn't know about the mine collapse until a few hours after it had happened as she was out in the woods hunting game.

"Darius can you grab his legs and then we'll take him back to the house." she says in relief when she sees me.

I can't see what injuries the man has, but he's moaning in pain and there's bold trickling down his head.

As we carry him back to the Seam I can see other injured miners waiting outside the Everdeen's, which now has a yellow rag on the door.

"Help me put him on the table."

I'm about to ask which one as there have to be at least five, probably borrowed from worried neighbours, when she guides me to the one closest to the wall.

In the far corner I can see Katniss gathering supplies and bandages before heading outside to heal the men sat on the steps.

I spend the rest of the morning with mrs Everdeen fetching buckets of clean water or helping roll men over and whatever else she asks of me. There's a constant stream of injured miners being brought to her door and while Katniss heals the minor wounds, or what _look_ like minor wounds to the ones mrs Everdeen's treating, she is eventually needed inside for some of the more complex procedures that need two sets of healing hands.

This mining disaster has been a bad one. More than 56 miners have been injured with over 39 dead and that number was still rising. My hands are sore from shifting all the sharp jagged rocks and my stomach aches from not eating. Every time I think about the stinging blisters on my hand though I think about all those men and what they must be feeling and then I feel like the worlds biggest ass for whining over my overworked hands. After all, this is what most men in the seam do all day everyday, wielding an axe till their hands bleed and they don't complain... much .

You can still see the smoke rising from the entrance of the mines, reminding people of what has happened. It's like a giant festering scar on the sky.

"Darius" Katniss pokes her head out of the door and motions for me to come over.

I follow her up the stairs in to one of the rooms where there's a man laid on the table. He's black with coal dust and he's moaning in agony. His trousers have been stripped off to reveal a small burn that looks slightly blackened on his left leg. His right leg however had not been so lucky and is mangled beyond recognition.

The skin, what's left of it, is a bright angry red and in most places you can see the white of the bone which looks cracked in several places. I gag at the sight and turn away.

Katniss drags me over to a corner and whispers to me urgently " his legs already infected and there's no way we can fix it, there's not enough skin and he wouldn't be able to walk on it. The family has given us permission to amputate it."

I don't know what I'm thinking it will be like but when a man comes in with a blunt garden saw I blanch.

"You're going to cut it off with _that_?" I ask incredulously.

She looks back to the man quickly before answering "it's the only thing we've got."

I sigh, of course it is. They don't have a proper doctor and if they did they would have already written this man off. I forget sometimes that everyone in twelve is dirt poor and that mrs Everdeen isn't a real doctor. Both women have done so well today fixing people up that I forgot they were just working with whatever they had, cotton that came from old clothes and herbs that were harvested from the woods.

I call them both women because a mere girl couldn't go through what has happened today and handle it so well. Katniss should be proud of herself, I know I am.

"What did you want me to do?" I ask softly.

"We need you to hold his legs, so that he doesn't move."

I really shouldn't have asked because now I am certain that what little is left in my stomach is going to come right back up. Oh god.

I slide down the wall and put my head between my knees. When I woke up three days ago I never imagined doing this. I look at Katniss and then at the man who's still crying out. They need me. All the other men out there probably know this man and wouldn't be able to stomach it, holding him down, and out of everyone else I'm definitely the strongest.

I nod my head just a little bit and her shoulders drop as she sighs in relief.

They drape some old rags over his legs so that I can get a firmer hold on them and scrub what's left of his legs clean to reduce further chance infection. I'm shocked that his family has agreed to this but then I realise that this is the only way he's going to live and if they don't do this then he's dead anyway. They don't have a choice.

They don't start with the saw straight away, they first cut through the skin and muscle with a sharp knife before setting the blunt saw to the bone. I have to breath in several deep breaths to steady myself before I can reach out and grab his legs.

They have given him some sleep syrup to help dull the pain but it doesn't seem to be working. His screams of absolute agony permeate the air and they seem to echo around the small room, filling it with a constant howl of pain.

The sound is excruciating. Even over his wails I can hear the repetitive motion of the saw scraping away layer after layer of bone _ever_ so _slowly_. I don't look at him. I can't. Instead I close my eyes and recite everything I ever leant in school in a vain attempt to block everything out. But even when the screams stop as he passes out, the dull grating sound of the saw remains.

As my hands sweat with the effort to keep the man still it makes it harder for me to grip him tightly enough and the blood has long since seeped through the cloth making my hands sticky.

Katniss holds his shoulders down and they've strapped his arms to his chest with spare belts. Occasionally she takes over with the saw when her mother get tired or wipes her mothers brow.

When the leg finally comes free mrs Everdeen carefully places a rag that had been soaking in a bucket with some kind of herb over the open wound. Even in the mans unconscious state he moans.

After cleaning it with the cloth which is now a deep red she shouts for a man outside the door and he brings in a hot piece if metal. To the mans credit he doesn't hurl at the sight of the patient but he really looks like he wants to. You and me both I think.

After the wound is cauterised, mrs Everdeen shoos us away and tells us to go take a rest and that she'll finish up. We don't argue and we shakily make our way down the rickety wooden stairs. On our way outside we pass many people wanting to know how their loved ones are but when they see our pale faces they let us pass.

I make my way to the sink first and scrub at my hands, trying to get the memory of the last four hours off my skin. The sink ends up red and the blood stays in the cracks in my hands so I give it up as a bad job and fill two glasses instead.

When I get outside I can hear the sound of retching. I can see Katniss's legs poke out from behind the only tree in the back yard and I wait on the porch for her, closing my eyes and leaning back against the old planks.

Eventually she comes over to sit next to me and I offer her the water silently. She takes it gratefully and we don't say anything for a long while.

"My dad died in a mine explosion." She says quietly looking down into the bottom of her cup.

I freeze not knowing what to do. This is the first time Katniss has ever volunteered information about herself or her family before and I don't want to stop her by saying something.

"It was a few years ago" she whispers looking up to the sky.

In this light Katniss has never looked so vulnerable or so small. She's always so fierce and guarded that when I see her now it's almost as if she's a different person.

"I was eleven," she continues. " I was in school when the alarms went off. I remember thinking 'it's ok he'll be fine, he always is'... I sat by the entrance all day, waiting for him to come out. It was only when I got home and I saw mr Hawthorne there with my mother who was crying into his shoulder that I knew he wasn't coming back, not this time."

"I remember him seeing me at the door and walking over to me and saying that he was sorry and that my daddy was a brave man... He was working the end of the line with mister Hawthorne when the bird stopped singing and he shoved mr Hawthorne to the exit straight away. He saved all those men's lives." Her eyes fill with tears until they spill over and run down her cheeks, making tracks in the dirt.

I never knew John Hawthorne knew Katniss's dad. He never speaks about it, though most people here tend to ignore the things that hurt them. I had thought that he was kind to Katniss because everyone was, but now I understand that everyone is so nice to Katniss because her dad saved a lot of lives, even at the cost of his own.

"I had to be the one to tell my sister."

This startles me. I had thought Katniss was an only child.

" she was only 7." Her breathing hitches and I grab her hand to give her silent support.

"I had nightmares for days afterwards, still do. My mother was devastated with the news. She didn't eat, she didn't sleep. She just sat there, it was l-like life didn't matter anymore... like _we_ didn't matter anymore. She just stared off in to space a-an-and n-n-nothing I did w-would wake her up."

"She let us starve! Prim _did_ starve! I couldn't get enough food and I tried e-everything I could but I wasn't enough!"

She's openly crying now, venting all her frustration and anger and hurt and I want to tell her it's ok but I don't, because it's not.

"I was supposed to protect us and I didn't remember about the woods until it was to late and she's dead and I hate her, it's-it's-it's-it-"

I pull her over on to my lap and cradle her to me gently rubbing her back as she sobs. She clings to me like a lifeline and buries her head into my shoulder. It's hard to picture the mrs Everdeen that she describes to the one I saw today. I just can't imagine it.

What was her name?" I whisper gently stroking the top of her head.

"Prim" she whimpers and breaks down all over again.

I have a feeling that Katniss has needed this release for a long time as her tears continue well into the night. We stay like that till we fall asleep.

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**please tell me what you think.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN. Thanks for all the follows guys and thanks for your amazing review fasisaanime, it was very much appreciated. Hope everyone enjoys this chapter and please leave a review at the end. As always the hunger games belong to Suzanne Collins. P.s sorry about the grammar.**

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Is it possible to feel really old even though you haven't lived that long, because that's exactly how I feel.

It's the day of the reaping for the 71st hunger games and I feel like shit. In my 19 years I've watched 378 children be mercilessly slaughtered on live television for the capitols entertainment and within a few weeks that number will have risen to 399.

399 children's deaths that have been cheered over and celebrated and played and replayed in slow motion. 399 families that have been ruined, though they don't show you that part, only the glorious bloody physical messes, not the emotional ones. Guess that's too boring to the Capitol socialites so they don't bother.

In two I've never really had to worry about the reaping. There's so many children in two of reaping age that the chance it's going to be your name that Andro Desmen shouts out is not even worth worrying about. Even if you get picked the chance of you actually going into the games is even more virtually non existent.

The so called 'careers' in two are heroes for several reasons. The first being that they volunteer to take the place of an unwilling tribute, which makes both the chosen tribute and their family eternally grateful and relieved.

The second reason is that because of the volunteering it means that nobody really has to worry about the reaping or the hunger games as there's no chance of it ever happening to them. Except for making time for the mandatory broadcasts, the hunger games hardly affects us.

The final reason the the careers in two are heroes is that they _win_. They spend most of their lives training on how to kill and incapacitate people, which means that they're stronger and faster and have a better chance of winning than any other district. Winning the hunger games means that extra grain and oil is provided for the district that the victor comes from. Despite what people think, even though district two is favoured by the Capitol, there are still poor people. Lots of children take a tesserae or twenty to feed their families and extra bread means more food to eat. Less hungry starving people.

In twelve though things are very different. It's something that only dawned on me a couple of weeks ago when Katniss started getting snappish and the whole district started getting tense.

It's half nine in the morning and while the square and the town would usually be buzzing with people it is now deserted. There's quiet in the district. So much in fact, that it's almost deafening.

The stage sits in the empty square and where in two there would be bright coloured banners hung up, balloons and even bands playing, there are only a few worn Capitol flags halfheartedly placed around the square. I can see more in a box by the stage but obviously the people setting up didn't want to decorate for the occasion any more than was absolutely necessary.

There are just enough flags to not get pulled up on not celebrating enough, but too few to make it look like a celebration, which I guess is how the people in twelve like it. Their only act of open defiance against the Capitol.

At eleven the town square is filled with nervous children and tearful adults. I look to where Katniss is in the fifteen year olds section. From here at the furthest edges of the square where I am patrolling with a gruff Capitol peacekeeper I can't see her. She seems to be lost in a crowd of other dark haired and dark skinned Seam children.

Recently she's started to fill out and look more like the teenaged girl she's supposed to be rather than just a scrawny child. I have to say the change looks good on her and she's grown a few inches too. No longer does she look like the hungry little girl I saw in the winter but instead a growing woman.

It's not only me that's noticed either. I've noticed some of the boys her age sneak glances at her when she passes. Not that Katniss has noticed any of these things of course, she's oblivious as always. I remember teasing her in the hob about it.

"Why miss Katniss you're looking mighty fine today, going anywhere nice?"

I flutter my eyelashes at her.

She snorts at my antics but I continue.

"It won't be too long before all the boys will be begging for your attention."

She raises her eyebrows disbelievingly.

I don't know why she has such low self esteem. Maybe she thinks that she's ugly? She's not though. She actually quite pretty. Her dark skin colouring signifying that she's from the Seam might put of some merchant boys, but any merchant family would be lucky to have her, particularly with her skill set.

The game she catches could provide meat for the butcher or skins for the tanner. The bakery could have fresh meat pies and she could gather lots of herbs for the apothecary. Probably not the apothecary though because that would be incest.

Apparently Katniss's mother was from town like I thought and grew up an apothecaries daughter until she was disowned when she married Katniss's father and moved to the Seam. Katniss told me that little bit of information one evening when I mentioned about her and her mother being such good healers.

Her mothers older brother runs the shop now with his two boys. I don't even think Katniss knows what they look like. She says she tries to avoid going in there if she can because her uncle either doesn't recognise her or chooses not to and treats her similar to what mrs Mellark treats people from the Seam, which is badly.

Her grandparents live in a small apartment not to far from the shop and help out sometimes. I can't count the amount of times they've probably walked past each other or even talked to each other and they've never said anything. I wonder if they even know that she exists. Then I thinks that's crazy, because who in district twelve hasn't heard of Katniss Everdeen? Even if they didn't recognise her face they would recognise her last name.

I really can't understand people who can pretend like their families suddenly just don't exist. How they can one day go from loving you and the next pretending they didn't even know you existed. I will never be able to understand how you could hate your child so much that you would rather have your grandchildren starve to death than acknowledge them.

My father was an asshole who eventually left when I was seven, but at least it knew that he didn't love me in the first place. He always made sure that me and my mother knew how unhappy he was with us and how my mother had trapped him in to marriage by getting pregnant with me. He often came home drunk after being at the bar and ranted and raved about how many women he'd screwed that night that weren't my mother.

When he left it was probably for the best. At least we had more money then because he wasn't wasting it on booze and prostitutes. The only thing I ever got from my father was my height. Everything else was from my mother, except from my sense if humour, no one knows where that came from. I like to think think that I'm so cool that I developed my own brand of humour. If Katniss heard that she'd laugh her head off at me.

We never talked about what happened after that night we cut the mans leg off, but we couldn't just ignore it like Katniss seemed hell bent on doing. By the time I woke up she was gone and the after the first two Sundays when I didn't see her I figured she was avoiding me, so I waited out by her house one night.

"You can't avoid me forever you know." I said coming up from behind her as she went to open the door.

She jumped and turned around wide eyed.

"Darius" she hissed "what are you doing here?"

"Some hunters hearing you have."

"Could you be any louder ?"

"Sure I can I said -"

She clamped a hand around my mouth to stop me from finishing. "Ugh, come on" she dragged me in to the house and slammed the door.

"What do you want?" She asked annoyed, tapping her foot against the wooden floor.

"Why are you ignoring me?" I demand.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come on Katniss don't play dumb with me."

"Fine, you know exactly why I'm avoiding you, I can't believe I did that."

"It's ok Katniss" I say gently, pulling a chair out from the table and sitting down. "Everyone cries once in a while, it's natural."

"I'm not weak!" She spits out defiantly.

"I didn't say you _were_ weak I just said it's ok for you to _cry_."

"What do you care?"

"Katniss of course I care, we're friends."

"We're not friends, you're a peacekeeper, I hunt illegally."

Ok so that one hurt. "So, I buy and _eat_ your illegal game."

"Yeah so you're a customer, I sell it to you so you don't turn me in."

I suck in a sharp breath. "Is that what you think of me?, that I would turn you in like that?, that I don't care about you? You honestly think I'm that kind of person?"

When she doesn't say anything I start to get angry. "What the hell Katniss!"

"I can see where I'm not wanted, I'll let myself out!"

The next few weeks were awkward. She stopped avoiding me but when she came in the Hob we didn't speak. I didn't even glance her way.

Three weeks later though she turned up on a Thursday when I was talking to Sae on my lunch break. I almost didn't look at her, but after she stood by my elbow for a few moments fidgeting nervously I finally turned to her "what?"

Sae busies herself with something at the back of the stall giving us privacy to talk.

She doesn't say anything for a few moments but I can see her turmoil in the creases of her eyes and the lines on her forehead. Eventually she just decides to thrust a small worn cloth pouch at me. She shifts nervously from foot to foot as she stares at the floor. I take it that she wants me to open it so I take a look inside.

Inside the pouch are a collection of black and reddy-pink berries.

"I just wanted- I mean I didn't- it's ok if you don't- "

"Thanks." I whisper.

She looks up at me in shock. I know she's trying to tell me she's sorry but just finds it hard to say the words. I toss a berry in to my mouth and moan as the sweet juice fills my mouth. It is undoubtedly one of the best things I've tasted here in twelve.

"You know I bet these berries still don't taste as good as you." I say wiggling my eyebrows at her.

She barks a laugh and relaxes. Just like that out argument is forgotten and things go back to normal. Well, not completely normal. Katniss trusts me a little more now and she's starting to open up to me. Not straight away but little by little. I can see it in her eyes, she's less guarded around me, even if it is only slightly. I think we're something more than acquaintances now. Not quite friends but getting there.

It's for that reason that I'm worrying today. Katniss has fifteen slips in the bowl which gives her a higher chance of most than being picked. I hold my breath as Effie Trinket puts her hand in to the large glass bowl and pulls a pristine white slip out.

"Kathleen Littlewood!"

My breath comes out in a gush and I smile from behind my blacked out helmet. Katniss is safe for another year.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer : Suzanne Collins owns the hunger games.**

AN: sorry guys for not updating recently but I got carried away with reading some other really good stories on this site and didn't have time to update.

Dates for chapter updates for each story will be on my profile if you want to know when the next chapter will be added to the story, although I have to write the chapters first so sometimes they may be a day or two late because I update straight after I've written the chapter and spell checked it. I don't see the point in waiting and withholding a chapter so you'll get them as soon as they've been written.

next chapter will be up by the end of Friday. Hope you enjoy.

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In district twelve the word 'tribute' is synonymous with corpse. There hadn't been a victor for over twenty years in district twelve, the last being Haymitch Abernathy.

In the whole of district twelve's history there has only ever been two victors and the first had won in the early years when the rage against the Capitol was still burning hot and bright, when there was still talk of rebellion and peoples spirits were Yet to be broken. Way back when, when people still dreamed of freedom and knew of life before the games. Nobody can even remember her now. Just another name in the long list of forgotten and dead tributes and victors.

After the reaping the streets empty and everyone ventures home. For the most part the district relaxes and a small quiet celebration meal is eaten in thanks that no one they know has been taken. For a two families though the curtains are drawn and the family mourn their loss.

As usual every district is required to be dressed in something relating to their district trade, which for twelve is mining. I've never taken that much notice of the tributes from twelve before, as they always wear skimpy miners outfits every year, but this year the stylists have gone one step further because the tributes aren't wearing anything _at all._ They are completely stark naked and are only covered in glittery black powder. The camera zooms in on them and most wince and look away.

The scene is immensely embarrassing and most turn their heads out of shame or respect. The dust meant to make the tributes look like pieces of coal only accentuates the harsh outlines of their ribs that jut out, making them look even more pathetic and tiny than usual. Both this years tributes are from the Seam and have never had a full meal in their entire lives. The girl has tears in her eyes and tries to cover herself from the view of the cameras. I truly feel sorry for them and look away in disgust at the Capitol. As if those kids needed to feel any more violated or humiliated.

The hob the next day is more quiet and surly and people go about with a quiet anger simmering beneath their skin. People are angry but there's nothing that can be done so they carry on their lives and try to ignore the games. Nobody talks about them, it's as if they're already over.

Both tributes die in the bloodbath as predicted, the girl by a brute from two and the boy by a girl from four. It could have been worse, at least this year there were proper knives and spears unlike last year when the knives were so tiny and blunt, that most of the tributes were beaten to death or froze in the sub zero temperatures.

The heat in district twelve is unbearable. The suits they make the peacekeepers wear really aren't made for extreme climates like they have in twelve. In the winter they're not water proof or warm enough and in the summer they're not cool enough. By the time lunch time comes around I'm irritable from the heat and already soaking wet with sweat.

Katniss comments one day that my face is almost as red as my hair, to which I reply

"I'm sure a pretty girl like you could make it even redder, red heads have great stamina, we could go all night."

Her reply is a faint blush and to whack my arm with a dead rabbit.

"Hey hey, no damaging the merchandise...ladies pay a lot of money for a taste of this." I gesture towards myself with a sly grin.

She rolls her eyes and hits me again before handing sae some coins and heading off towards the bakers.

"You never know if you'll like it or not unless you've tried it Katniss!" I holler after her, to which she gives me a one fingered salute.

Gale Hawthorne glares at me from the far corner of the hob where he's standing with his father trading some old baby clothes for some worn brown leather boots. The look on his face is filled with such hatred that at first I turn my neck to look behind me and see who he's looking at when I realise he's glaring at me. I wonder what his problem is?

By the time I've finished eating dinner and I've started climbing into bed I've forgotten all about gales hostile gaze. The night is hot and I sigh in relief when my hot skin touches the cool sheets.

I'm utterly exhausted yet even after an hour of laying in bed with my eyes closed I can't get to sleep. I feel too clammy and the air is thick and dusty. There hasn't been a drop of rain in weeks. Just as I begin to teeter on the edge of Morpheus there's a hesitant knock at the door. I growl in frustration and thump my pillow, I was _so_ close. Whoever it is better have a damn good reason.

As I grouchily stomp down the stairs towards the door I wonder who it could be at this time of night, most of the district is asleep.

When I open the door I'm met by the sight if a young girl, she can't be more than 20. She's wearing a thin blue dress and has her hair in a bun on the top of her head.

"What?" I growl still annoyed with my lack of sleep.

"Emm... Er I -er , I mean..."

"Out with it."

She straightens her shoulders and gathers her courage.

"I was wondering if you'd like some company?"

"... What? Its one in the morning."

She nods and looks at me expectantly. When she sees I'm not going to say anything else she continues more hesitantly.

"I mean some... _Female_ company."

I stand there staring at her for a moment until it clicks what she's offering. I'm mortified when a blush creeps up my face and I stammer a reply.

"Er.. I- I think you're at the wrong house, erm Cray's is that way." I point towards town.

"I know but I was wondering-"

"No." I cut her off. For all my innuendos and all my jokes I've never actually been with a woman since coming to twelve. And if I did choose to be with one in that way it would be with a woman that wanted to be with me, not needed to.

I go to close the door but she grabs my wrist to stop me.

"Wait you don't understand, my brother he's hungry, he needs to eat."

"Please, please." She begs and I wonder if this would have been Katniss a few years ago had she been older. I know that she loved her sister very much, even more than herself and I know that if she could have she would have done whatever was necessary to keep prim alive. I would have wanted someone to help Katniss, starvation is a slow and painful death.

I sigh deeply and scrub my hand over my face. I take one last look at the girl before walking into the kitchen.

I grab a loaf of bread off the side and walk back to the door and hand it to her. She looks shocked and steps forward to come inside. I hold my hand up and smile sadly at her.

"Don't come back again" I say and softly shut the door leaning back tiredly against it.

I heard someone once say that 'love knows no bounds', and I think whoever ever said it was right.


End file.
